I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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