i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
