Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
