is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
