is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
