No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
