I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
