I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
