So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
