At least make sure they are 18
Why
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
