So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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