Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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