he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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