Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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