will power is for people who don't want to get laid
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
