I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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