DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
