My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
