she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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