Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize