Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
