WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
