U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
