drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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