She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
