Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
so let's talk penis.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
