he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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