I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
