there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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