Got a toothbrush?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My life is pants optional.
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