He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
