the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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