Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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