You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
