can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Never joke about your clitoris.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
