he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
