And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
My dick has a subreddit
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
