hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Dick very happy bro
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
