Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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