Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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