I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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