I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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