if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
And then my night got REAL pukey
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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