we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm bleeding and have questions
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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