yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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