I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
