Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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