I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
