that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
