I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
