Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Enjoy the penises
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
