he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
