If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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