Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
