i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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