Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
