Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
