I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
