thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
