haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
