I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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