OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
They left me at home... I'm a liability
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
