Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i dont even know how to be here
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
BRING THE BAGELS
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
