Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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