Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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