I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I wish there were birth control emojis
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
